you are gone
i don't believe in heaven
its as if your spark was snuffed out
you don't exist in any corner of this
universe or another dimension
I cant even see you when i die
the moon has lost its brightness
i cant share new song with you no more
and once in a while some article i think you'd find funny
dancing is not the same anymore
my inheritance has no
heir
my genome has no identical
the house is a festering prison
you are gone and the days seem point less
in the nights I watch videos about happy moments
when i had all the time alone with you
you are gone and the world has lost its meaning
i cant imagine a future without you there
without your love i have no cornerstone left
and though the world keeps on revolving
I have no axis to revolve around anymore
sometimes I say your name in litany as if mere repetition
might have the power to
resurrect you from the dead. what no one tells you is that
when someone you love dies
you lose them twice , once to death, the second time to
acceptance, and you don't take that long dark passage alone. Grief takes every shuffling, unwilling step
with you, like walking on cut glass, offering a seductive bouquet of memories
that can only blossom south of sanity. I can not be mad at you, rant and
curse because you ceased to exist
anymore.
I can stay here in perpetual grief, nose buried in the
petals of past, where present is a blur, when time and the world try to drag me
into the future kicking and screaming. But you'll never come crush me in your
arms again, or annoy me bug-fuck out of my mind.
Spend enough time with ghosts, you become one, sometimes I
think I've already started becoming invisible without you there to anchor me. I
haven't cried, I don't know if or when I will.
Although when I finally do in some distant future I cannot
imagine, I'll drown alive.
