Odd Times

I think of him at odd times….

Then wonder if he does too!

When lyrics of a song reaches my ear

I wonder if he remembers my voice!

When a guy passes by eyeing me

I wonder if he remembers what I looked like!

When on a starry night at the terrace

I wonder if he ever wishes me goodnight.

When it rains and I walk through the streets

I wonder if he’d ever think of holding my hand like now.

When I spend a sleepless night staring at nothing

I wonder if he ever does too

When for a second if I ever mistake someone for him

I wonder if he ever confuses me with anyone else

When I sit at dawn contemplating if we have a future

I wonder if he even wants one.

When I am with a circle of friends

I wonder if he ever misses me in his.

When I see a full moon in the sky

I wonder if he thinks that we both do at the same time.

When his laugh gets stuck in my head sometimes

I wonder if I get stuck in his head too

When I look at our old photographs

I wonder if he also goes through’em sometimes.

When I cry and curse him

I wonder if he still gets angry at me

When I get a split second glimpse in the mirror

I wonder if he’ll ever see me in his

When I close my eyes and see his staring at me

I wonder if he remember the colour of my eyes

When I laugh out with joy

I wonder if only he could see me.

When I whisper in the wind “ I LOVE YOU!”

I wonder if he ever replies.

When I shout out “ you are the one!”

I wonder if he ever shouts back.

When I think of him at odd times

I wonder if he realises, he left me for someone else!

heart in hand

Distressed I searched every

Nook and cranny,

Couldn’t I find

It anywhere.

Hello? Please will you

Help me find it?

He asked me

What should I look for?

I replied its small and soft

Warm and wet with blood

It beats with my life

Its my heart!

I asked him again

Please will you help

Me find my heart

I think I just lost it!

He questioned

Could someone have

Stolen it?

Absurd as that question was.

My heart was guarded

Too fiercely to steal

I must have lost it

On my way to the future.

Seeing my distress

He searched every

Nook and cranny

Couldnt he find it anywhere!

Each time I met him

On my way to the future

I hopefully asked him

To look for my lost heart

On fine day , he joined

Me on my way to the future

With a charred and blackened

Blood dried and cold

Still piece of heart

With barely a pulse of life

In his hand!

And in a bewildered voice

He asked me….

Why didn’t you tell

Me where it was?

I didn’t think of looking

For it in my hand

Never thought that

You’ll lose it to me!

And with the last beat

Of my heart I said

It was for you to find out

Even I didn’t know

I’d lost my heart to you!

untitled

the day is upon me, the day when its do or die. well atleast get admission in the university or not.

the day that will decide the course of my life. where i live with whom i live and what not.

I am scared! terrifyingly so.

i've got butterfly's in my stomach and acid burn too.

how am i going to sleep.

i cant talk to anyone. because i dont talk to anyone.

i've cut out myself from everyone :(

sometimes i think i care too much.

whom can i tell that i am scared?

my dad? he'll just tell me its natural to feel so.

my mom? she'll just start worrying and grilling me questions. on top of that she'll fuss.

my brother? he wont understand y i am scared in the first place.

i havent cried in a while, i feel all the emotion that i keep buried rise up. it'll gush out at a completely unexpected time . i want to cry now....

what i need is some one who'll listen to me when i tell them i am SCARED. then let me sit in there lap and cry my heart out.someone who'll sooth me. someone who'll rock me to sleep.

what will happen is, i get up go do some work not talk to neone. do some more worrying , not talk to neone. thats how is always goes. i not talk to neone.

i have these whole conversation in my head but cant speak a single word to people i wanna have a conversation with.

so let me go not talk to neone. and not talk to neone!