Belonging

17th feb
6.30

the day i realized that i most probably never will....

"I woke up to find my self
Sprawled on the wet grass
Facing the bright blue
Beauteous sky,
Without a cloud marring
Its pristine surface
A bird chirped near by
Bee’s hummed and red hued
Leaves floated above my head
It was picture perfect.

I’d always known that the
World revolved on the correct axis
As it was supposed to be!
But was I supposed to be
As I was?
I am always to be
A big bad black hole?
Always wanting to be filled
But never satisfied?
Was I supposed to always absorb
Everything that came my way
Even if it harmed me?
Was I supposed to always absorb
Without wanting ever to be
Able to fill something?
Wasn’t I supposed to
Belong somewhere?
Someplace?
To someone?
Was the world always
Going to go by me
Never touching me?
Was it right that I be black
And the world a bright colour?
I stopped short my musing’s
As a bee stung me.

AND

I woke up to find my self
Sprawled on the wet grass
Facing the bright blue
Beauteous sky,
Without a cloud marring
Its pristine surface
A bird chirped near by
Bee’s hummed and red hued
Leaves floated above my head
It was still picture perfect."